Inside The Mind of Eli Porter

we've all seen the Eli Porter Freestyle over I Really Mean It. just watching it is comedy at its finest, but have you ever stopped to think about how ILL his lines are in the context of his own mind? GEEZ this guy is nuts. lets take a look....


From the jump Eli "The Great" tells us "I'm the best mayne, I did it". He's letting us know that he is not just the best rapper in this contest, but the best of all time! WHOA! I DID IT! What else does a champion say? He has climbed the highest mountain of lyricism! He has entered into a realm that none has come close to thus far! HE DID IT! He is like a lyrical savant, like "Rain Man" was with numbers. It is mind boggling!! He is not being narcissistic, he knows that he really has accomplished something unprecedented!


Well if he is so great the why did he pause? Did he lose his train of thought? its because he is mentally challenged right?
Well not really...

What happened there was that he was not supposed to use the "N" word so they began to wave their hands to stop him. It threw Eli off a little and his words got a little jumbled before he stops. We may never know the ingenious line that they interrupted, but we did hear him call him salt! He is already grounded down to his lowest element, in Eli's mind! He came against THE BEST and got reduced to salt! Eli saw them about to stop and in spontaneous genius, decided to leave us something to contemplate during the pause...



The pause was obviously long enough for him to re group & develop his thought and his assertion, so now he is going to have to "let you know who the best by the hour". If he revealed something awesome of the dynamics of his lyrical prowess every second of an hour, it would still take hours for you even to begin to comprehend this level!
"naw, I messed up (when they began to distract me), but Imma stay on top! they told me man (they told me not to use explicit words), but you know um neva gon flop". Like in good freestyle lyricist, he lets you you know that his flow is not pre-written, by speaking of what just happened. The little gaffe made it appear that Eli was flopping, so he immediately flipped it, by taking an occasion of the pause, with the immortal proclamation "Im the best mayne, I deed it" 


"look at this dude, he need to stay in the shade" He cracks on how black he is, at the same time saying that he should have stayed away from the heat of my rhymes. My rhymes are as the scorching sun, you will get "roasted"! Your own raps humiliate you, but then you want to put yourself in position to get burnt by THE BEST! Why would he come out the shade (a safe place of hiding) and expose himself to such public humiliation? Oh "ain't no wonder why he came out, he already in the gay parade!"


After he destroyed him with the gay parade line, he gets real bold and starts to turn toward him saying "I told you"! I know you didn't see this coming but It's what I've been saying all along, I'm THE BEST who ever did this fool! Now "I got you roasted like ever". It's nothing new to you, you know what it means to get roasted by the sun. So its "like ever", it's what your used to.He is thus confirming that his "stay in the shade" line was about his lyrical scorching as well as the sun's

When Eli spits staggering riddles he says "told you". After the "bi-sexual bridal shower" and "dental-man with dent on the grill" riddles he says "see,I'm the best, I TOLD YOU THAT! Then, after the stay in the shade riddle, he says "I TOLD YOU"! He clearly knows how clever he is! "you don't know, but my rhymes are straight up cleva" All you dimwits who think Eli is even slightly slow, you only show your own intellectual dullness! He is a true wordsmith with unbelievable mastery of spontaneous riddles!

Ultimately my man could have continued for atleast another 16, but once again he was cut off for use of explicit language.

Anyone who appreciates fine art, knows that this is one of the greatest rhymes of all time! After listening to Envy's stupid rap, Eli couldn't really even consider this a real rap battle. Who is this fool and why is he actually trying to jump in the ring with THE BEST! Eli was indignant at that notion that there was even a battle taking place! He just had one question mayne, "tell me who next?"